LaLaLaLaLa I can't hear youuuu.....

I’ve been ruminating on my career, such as it is. My current employment has a more-or-less definitive lifespan, and I must look into the future with some kind of tools in hand to shape it.

I’ve been trying to open my mind’s eyes to other possibilities, other pursuits - what if I were a this, or a that? Would X suit me? Would I be good at it? Would I be happy then? Would I be miserable?

Would it be meaningful work?

That’s my big question. It’s the one that sits at the bottom of the Jenga stack of questions that I trust will make a structure out of nothing, out of what I don’t know.

I can write. I can listen. I can interpret. I can create. I can compartmentalize, organize, explicate, command, take orders, work in a team, work alone. I have good interpersonal skills. I can multitask (though I don’t like it much). I am compassionate, and I do the right thing when I can.

I’m thinking very hard indeed. Will my next chapter have me wearing an apron? Will I work with children? The aged? 

In my next job, I will help people. That is ‘meaningful’ to me. But to get there, I will have to sacrifice quite a lot - and I don’t know that I have any of it to give.

Scares the shit out of me.